Day One: Lands End to Wadebridge (Never trust the GPS)

Miles: 64                             

Calories: 4584

Time on the saddle: 4:31

I’m 6’3. The bed I slept in last night was 6’1. Combine that with fact that it threw it down last night (drought, what drought?) needless to say I didn’t get a good night’s sleep. It didn’t matter though. I was like a child at xmas.......excited and eager to get up and on with the day. We arrived at Lands End (shit hole) and almost got mugged. £4 for parking! The Colley’s had none of it and dropped the car off ¾ of a mile away and walked back to the attractions (the signpost). After learning an ‘official’ photo in front of the sign was £9.95 we decided to save our beer money and take a photo behind the barriers whilst negotiating with the elements!  The rain was back. After sheltering I set off and started to fly! The wind was well and truly behind me and I put 10 miles in without even knowing it.

I’d passed through Penzance just as my bike GPS computer decided to have a melt-down (A common theme for the day). It was trying to send me back to the start, then off to the South East! Like having an argument with Helen, I ignored everything it was telling me and followed my instinct and got back on course. This happened around 5 times today which slowed me down but also provided a good excuse to rest.  The moral of the story, the GPS is a guide not gospel. A good ride today and it wasn’t as hilly as I’d been expecting so roll on tomorrow !

Highlights today included seeing 2 seals, a pair of sparrow hawks and meeting up with 2 more fellow lands end riders who gave me a welcome boost at the end of the ride just when I needed it.

Low points of the ride proved that immaturity does not get rewarded. I decided to take a detour to a place called Cocks for a photo (it really is a proper place, look it up if you don’t believe me). Not only was it in a deep valley (which took 3 minutes to descend into and 25 minutes to climb out of) some bugger had stolen the Cocks sign........so no photo!!!!! School boy!

Day 2: Wadebridge to Witheridge (Hills upon Hills)

Miles: 66.06

Calories: 4690

Time: 5:01

On the road for 0840 this morning maybe not as excited as yesterday but nevertheless, the enthusiasm was still there until I was 15 minutes into the ride. Now, let me tell you something.......there is nothing like a never ending hill to zap any positive vibes you may hold. I don’t think I’ve ever been as close to the outer atmosphere or even the Sun when I finally reached the summit. This baby was big, but the constant hours of training up Churwell hill put me in steed.

I think the Hill ratio of up going up to going down throughout the day was around: - 25 up 1 Down. Oh well, ‘they’ say that these are the 2 hardest days........so now that they’re behind me it should be a breeze!!!!!

I’ve also decided today that i’m not going to shave until i finish the ride......lets see how that pans out hey?

Highlights:  Great day for riding, not too hot, not too cold.

Low points: Twisted the knee whilst trying to fix my bike !!! How annoying. The bike we can fix but if the knee goes then the dreams go up in smoke. Pain killers here we come !

Day 3: Witheridge to Wells

Miles: 72.27

Calories: 5028

Time: 05:45

The 1^st thing i would like to say is that Devonshire flies taste a lot meatier than Cornwall flies. Fact. I ate a lot of them today (not intentionally i might add) as i was riding through a lot of country lanes. Someone tells me there good for you, so it’s all good.

I am typing this as an ashamed man. I’m so ashamed; I almost want to shave my attempt at a beard off. Why? I pushed my bike up 2 hills. I did the very thing that I vowed not to do.......... “there is no hill too big, no hill too steep for James ‘Lance Armstrong’ Colley”........... yeah, well let me tell you something for free.......there are 2 hills that are too big for me to tackle.  In my defence, my chain came off the bike on the 1^st hill and i lost all of my momentum....... but between you and me.....i still wouldn’t have managed it.

Anyway, enough of the hill talk. A strange days cycling today. It started off in the 1^st couple of hours in the sleepy Devonshire countryside and country lanes. Very hilly and slow but beautiful surroundings. I even saw 3 wild deer.  The 2^nd half of my ride was a lot flatter but wetter. Proper wet.  When i came into glasto, i wanted to finish, so put my head down and thankfully Wells seemed to be around the corner. Going for a walk in Wells now with the old man.

Highlights: Negotiating a trade with the lady in the local post office in Curry Leval....... 70pence worth of sweets as well as a top up of my water bottles! Result.

Low points: Getting beaten by the hills. Colley 2501 Hills 2 (to be continued).

Day 4: Wells to Hereford

Miles: 71.45       

Calories: 5477

Time: 5:33

Today has been the best day so far on the journey. Stunning scenery, majestic weather and good winds behind me. I have actually started to develop the world’s silliest tan. As well as the expected sunglasses tan, i’ve got silly tan marks on my knees and my hands are white whilst my arms are brown (from the cycling gloves). I’m still thinking if i should take photographic evidence......watch this space.

               I came the closest i’ve ever come to seeing a mirage in a desert. I was 45 miles into the ride, both water bottles were dry and the hills just kept on coming out of the Wye valley. It’s safe to say that i was really struggling. No signs of anyone around, no shops, no pubs or even no houses!!! And then there it was, my saviour. A local village post office ran by a Manc which sold mountain dew! Was this real or was i dreaming?  After pinching myself and downing the can in one, i decided that i was still lucid and continued on my way.

I also had the unexpected pleasure of bumping into my aunty whilst 12 miles-ish away from Hereford and she turned out to be a life saver!!! Jane thankfully provided a bottle of water just when i needed it most.....so a big thank you for that.

Highlights and low points are twinned the same today. I mistakenly took the road that led onto the motorway and proceeded to ride up to the Seven Bridge toll booths. The next thing i know, i was getting shouted at over the tanoy by the staff in the office ‘oi you on the bike, get off the road, there is a cycle path over on the left!’  ops.

Day 5 Hereford to Prees

Miles: 70.62

Calories: 4615

Time: 4:50

Today was all about getting the miles under the belt and out of the way.  I spent virtually most of the trip on the A49, a ‘nice’ road but nothing really worth talking about. I had a quick stop of in the historic town of Ludlow and appeared to be the only tourist looking around the castle in lycra. I bumped into Helen whilst she was on the way to (the) Wirral and had a welcome rest. Overall, an average cycling day and for that reason I’m not going to include any high/low points

Day 6 Prees to Newton Le-Willows

Not Happy Jim !

Miles: 46.18

Calories: 2960

Time: 3:12

See day 5. Pretty much used the same road (A49) today to reach the hole that is Warrington. Just when i thought that a day couldn’t be less worth commenting on (see yesterdays notes) day 6 pops up and steals the show! A very boring, windy wet ride which also included me nearly getting knocked off by some old bint in a Lexus (or Lexi). After pulling out of a round-a-bout in my bright aluminous orange t-shirt with a perfect arm signal, i had clocked that she had not seen me but was stilling driving onto the round-a-bout and by this time i was already in front of her bumper. Thinking on my feet the best i could come up with was “oi” and when the 1^st one didn’t grab her attention the second one sure did.......”OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” she saw me, realised that her car also had breaks that worked and spared me. No apologies, no acknowledgement of wrong doing. Tit . Anyway, my day has been made by the arrival of Helen and her Dad and Grice and Pye. Really nice to see everyone and tell some tales. Tomorrow Kendal which i fear is going to be a slog.

p.s. I’m not sure our caravan or car wheels are going to be on in the morning as we are staying on a ‘proper’ traveller site or to use the politically correct term, a proper ‘pikey’ site. I just wish i would have packed my vest.

Day 7 Newton Le Willows-Kendal

Miles: 70:33

Calories: 4714

Time: 4:47

Just to confirm, all wheels are in place and all sleeves are present on our t-shirts.

What a difference a day’s riding in the sun makes. I have just re-read the last 2 days input and i think my negativity was pertained to the wet/cold conditions. Today has been a great day’s riding up and to the Lake District. As most of you know, this really is a special place and when the sun shines, it makes you proud to be English. Even the hills didn’t bother me today and i dare say that even if i saw any more Lexus (lexi) drivers, i would have smiled and tipped my cap.

I had a bit of a ride on the canal today, but could only manage 2 miles as it was a little bumpy and reverted back to the road.  I also bumped into 2 fellow LEJOG riders who i saw on the 1^st day at Lands End. After a bit of chat and words of encouragement i left them to it (or so i thought, i hit 2 red lights when i pulled away so had 2 more awkward chats to pass the time).

Highpoints of the day have to include just arriving in the Lakes.

Low points, my i-pod speaker has broken (I secretly think it has been sabotaged by my Dad as he was getting annoyed with my eclectic musical tastes)